Friday, June 28, 2013

Telling Tenley



Today was the day.....the day we decided to tell Tenley that she was going to be a big sister.  I still don't know that she can fully comprehend what that means being that she's only 3, but she seemed to be pretty excited.  Now, it's going to be a long 6 1/2-7 months as she is already asking if the baby is about to come out. I put her down for a nap, and she asked me if the baby was coming out after her nap....  :)

I also have already gotten the "Who put the baby in your belly?" question too.  :)

Here's the video of us telling Tenley that there's a baby in Mommy's belly. 







First Visit

Today we had our first visit with our regular OBGYN since we "graduated from the fertility specialist.  All went well at our appointment.  I was switching OBs, so I was kind of nervous, but I LOVED him!  It's the same doctor that delivered Tenley, but other than her delivery and one OB appointment during the end of my pregnancy with her, I had never dealt with him before.  Chris and I both loved him though!

We got to see our sweet little baby again on the ultrasound machine.  This time was especially cool because our little booger was wiggling all over the place.  I am still grinning ear to ear about it!  :)

Friday, June 28, 2013
9 Weeks, 1 Day
Measuring 8 Weeks, 6 Days
Saw the heartbeat and our little baby wiggling all over the place. 

9 Weeks

Our Baby is the Size of a Green Olive


How Far Along? 9 Weeks
Total Weight Gain/Loss? None
Maternity Clothes? Not yet; They have been pulled down from the attic, but are completely needed yet.  I will same things seem to be getting snugger this time around.  
Sleep? I pretty much stay tired all the time.  I try to take a nap most days when Tenley's napping, but it doesn't always happen.  I'm sure getting up 3-4 times a night to use the restroom doesn't help my exhaustion any. 
Cravings? Nothing specific
Miss Anything? Coffee.....I LOVE coffee, but I have actually had a strong aversion to it this whole time....
Movement? Not yet
Showing yet? Not really.  I'm bloated and my waistline is certainly starting to expand though.
Belly Button In/Out? In
Wedding Rings On/Off? On
Happy or Moody? Most of the time I"m happy.  I've been experiencing A LOT of anxiety though and seem to be worrying about EVERYTHING!  This happened with Tenley too, but I really don't like this unnecessary stress.  
Best Moment this Week? Saw our little baby for the 2nd time on Thursday, June 20th at our 8 week appointment & graduated from the Reproductive Specialist to our general OBGYN.  We have our first check with our OB on Friday (June 28).
Pregnancy Symptoms? Fatigue, Nausea, and Round Ligament Pain---which I actually thought it was WAY too early for the round ligament pain, but the nurse said everything happens much faster the second time around.
Looking forward to: Telling Tenley that she's going to be a big sister.  If all goes well Friday, we're going to tell her this weekend!


8 Week Ultrasound

We went in for our 8 week ultrasound on Thursday, June 20, 2013.  Our little baby had grown so much in such a short time.

2nd Ultrasound on 6/20/13
8 weeks pregnant
Measuring 7W6D
Saw the heart beating :)

All looked good today at our appointment, so our Fertility Specialist officially "graduated" us from him to our regular OBGYN.  I am going to be staying at my same regular practice, Women's Specialist of Fayette, but switching to a new doctor.  So, Friday, June 28th, we will have our first appointment with a regular OBGYN....excited to graduate to a regular doctor.  :)  I'm anxious for my appointment and hope we get to see our little one again.  I'm hoping since this is our first appointment with him, he will do an ultrasound.

Our Baby is the Size of a Raspberry 

Our First Ultrasound

On Monday, June 10, 2013 we went in for our first ultrasound & doctor's appointment.  At this time, the nurse confirmed that we were 6 1/2 weeks (6 weeks, 4 days) and our due date was January 29, 2014. We also got to see our baby for the first time.

Ultrasound #1 on 6/10/13
6 weeks 4 days pregnant
Measuring 6 wks, 3 days
Heard Heartbeat for the 1st time
Heartbeat: 127 bpm

We also found out at this appointment that we just had 1 little baby growing in there.  I was so overjoyed about hearing my baby's heartbeat and knowing that he/she was okay, that it didn't dawn on me until the next day what that meant.....It meant we had one healthy, growing baby, but it also meant that we lost a baby too.

I am thankful that I got to spend Monday being so excited about our baby, but I spent all of Tuesday mourning the loss of our other sweet baby.  We have lost a total of 5 babies throughout this process at this point.  Four of them stopped developing in the lab, and one of our transferred embryos didn't make it.  The loss of each and everyone of them hurts, but there is something even more painful about the one we transferred not making it....I guess (as wrong as this may sound), I felt closer to it since it was inside me, and a part of me.  I felt that since it didn't implant and make it, my body failed it.  As a mother, there is no worse feeling than feeling like you can't protect your baby.

It's hard to mourn the loss of one baby and celebrate another.  I wonder if I will always feel like this....When our baby's delivery date is here, will it feel different since there were supposed to be two babies????  It's just hard.  This is one of those things that I tried not to focus on as we went through this process.....once we were in it though, we had to mourn.  It hit both Chris and me pretty hard.  I want to just focus on my one healthy baby, but that makes me feel horrible....like I'm forgetting my baby, or babies, that didn't make it....

I have to remember that this is all in God's hands.  My body didn't fail to protect and grow my baby.  God is in control and gave us what we were meant to have.  So I am going to keep my mind focused on that for now and focus on my love for this rapidly growing baby inside me.  I'm going to focus on how incredibly blessed I am.

Finally Ready to Talk About It.....

 It has been over a month since I have blogged and this is primarily because I have not been ready to talk about it.  Going through this whole IVF process has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life.  Nothing could have prepared me for all the emotional ups & downs that we experienced.  When we made the decision to pursue IVF, I kept myself positive by focusing on the final outcome of having a baby.  Even though I was aware the process would be difficult, I tried not to let my thoughts linger on the difficult parts.

On Tuesday, May 14, 2013 we went in for our embryo transfer and began the dreaded "two-week wait."  We  were scheduled for a beta test on Friday, May 24th to find out if the transfer was a success or not.  Being the impatient person I was, I spent countless hours over the next week "researching" on the Internet, blog pages, and talked to friends that had done in-vitro themselves., about taking a home pregnancy test before the actual blood test.  I know the blood test is more effective and picks up lower hormone levels, but the idea of going for the blood work and then just waiting for the call was making me sick to my stomach.  So, even though everyone I talked to that had done in-vitro advised me to wait for the blood work and to NOT take a home pregnancy test, I did it anyway.  I didn't even tell Chris that I bought the test, because I knew he agreed that we should just wait for the blood work. I had to relieve some of my anxiety though, so on Thursday, May 23rd (day before my blood test), I took the test....


And....



I took another one that night.  I just had to see that beautiful word again. :)

The next day, I went in for my blood test as scheduled.  The doctor called me a few hours later.

Dr. Straub: Hey Kristyn.  It's Dr. Straub.  So, what are we thinking?
Me:  I'm thinking I cheated and took a pregnancy test yesterday.
Dr. Straub: Oh, you ruined my surprise.  Well, yes, you are pregnant.  Congratulations!

My beta numbers that day were 192.  Good strong numbers. It was too soon for me to try to guess whether we were pregnant with one baby or two though...

I went back the following Tuesday & then a week after that for repeat beta tests to be sure that my numbers were increasing as needed.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013: Beta Levels: 946 (still couldn't tell if one or two)
Tuesday, June 4, 2013: Beta Levels:  6,477 (these numbers were so close to what my numbers were at this stage with Tenley, that I became pretty sure that there was just one baby, though we couldn't know for sure.

After my blood work on Tuesday, June 4th, we scheduled our 6 1/2 week ultrasound & 1st doctor's check for Monday, June 10th.  This is when we would find out if we had 1 or 2 babies cooking.

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh About It!

When things aren't easy, sometimes the best you can do is try to make the best of it and laugh!  Below is a picture of Chris on our Egg Retrieval Day (Thursday, May 9, 2013).....Now, keep in mind, this is also the day Chris has to do his "job" as well!  :)

"Go Hard....Or Go Home."

It's actually a workout shirt, but we found it quite fitting for the day!