Soon-to-be Member of the IVF Club

After a second failed round of a very high dosage of Clomid (failed as in I didn't even produce 1 mature follicle), and a few more rounds of testing, it looks like our best option is going to be IVF (in-vitro fertilization).  It seems like a HUGE jump going from Clomid all the way to IVF, but unfortunately for me, my body is just extra screwed up.  While my ovaries seem to refuse to mature any follicles, let alone allow me to ovulate, my egg quality and supply is huge and healthy!  My AMH (Anti-Mullerian Homorne) levels were a 7.9, with a normal level being between 1.0-3.0.  This means that I have a VERY large and VERY healthy supply of eggs in my reserve...  I can't help but notice the irony in the fact that I have more than enough quality eggs, but my body refuses to let me use them.

When we were heading into this last consultation with our RE, we were anticipating discussing moving to injectible drugs and IUIs (interuterine insemination).  That just naturally seemed like the next step in this incredibly arduous process.  Much to our surprise, this didn't seem to be a very probable option for us.  Since I am as young as I am (27) and my egg reserve as large and healthy as it is, I am at a great risk of producing far TOO many follicles to proceed with an IUI cycle....again, the irony...  This would mean that we would have a high chance of spending thousands of dollars on our injectible medications, ultrasounds, and bloodwork, only to have to stop treatment within the first week or so of the cycle.  :(  (And, even if I didn't produce far too many follicles and I was able to proceed with the IUI, we would only have a 15-20% of actually conceiving.  With each cycle costing 4-5K dollars, those aren't good odds.)

So, that left us with pretty much 3 options:
1. Adoption- something I've always wanted to do, but for some reason, it just doesn't feel like now is the time that I'm supposed to do that.
2. Be content with just having 1 child----NOT an option to me...not just because I want a large family, but because I want Tenley to have other siblings.
3. IVF

And here we are.....after crying, talking, crying, talking, and more crying & talking, we've decided that IVF is our next step.  This path we're about to travel down is daunting in SO many ways: financially, mentally, emotionally....Now, we're looking at a $20,000+ treatment, and MANY difficult factors to consider....

How many eggs do we actually fertilize? How many will actually fertilize? Do we transfer on Day 3 or on Day 5? Since we're not willing to donate or dispose unused embryos, do we reduce the amount of eggs we fertilize and then risk not having any success?????  So many things to think about. 

This is definitely one of the most stressful things we've ever had to go through.  What's scary is that we're only 5 days into this and will be starting treatment next month at the very earliest.

While we apparently missed the "Welcome to the Club" banner, I feel like we are officially joining the IVF Club.  I can't say that this is a membership that I'm excited to have (I'm terrified), but surprisingly, I do feel blessed. 

I can always tell when people have been praying for me.  Two weeks ago (before we even found out we were headed for IVF) I was at the stage where I was frustrated with God.  Was He REALLY going to put me through all this AGAIN?? (It took us 3 years to conceive Tenley) A week later, we receive the blow that IVF is our best option and while still feeling overwhelmed and terrified, I also felt alarmingly calm and blessed (if that even makes sense).  This is going to be an incredibly difficult journey, but God chose me for it (and Chris of course).  Nothing about this is going to be easy, but I can only imagine the blessings that will come from this, and the ways that God will be able to use me after making it through this current storm.