Saturday, January 5, 2013

Learning to Count

Learning to count....this can be a difficult task for children at times.  My beautiful 2 1/2 year old little girl is pretty good at counting to 10 now, and sometimes a little bit higher.  About 6 months ago though, we were still hearing the 1, 2, 4, 7, 9, 4, 5, 10 routine.  She was trying, but it was just a challenge for her still. 

As an adult, learning to count is still a challenge for me...yet, in a slightly different way.  Learning to count my blessings in place of mourning what I don't have is sometimes difficult for me.  I have always admired people who have pure joy----no matter what tragedies they are faced with, they are still joyful.  It is my hope to one day be one of these amazing people. For right now, I'm taking one step at a time and trying to learn to count. 

I am in the middle of a fertility battle for the second time in my life...  While I'm SO grateful to say that battling fertility is the most difficult struggle I've had in my life, I will say that it is not an easy thing to face.  We are 7 months into our journey of trying to grow our family with baby #2 and I just got a huge "NOT PREGNANT" on my test this morning.  This was the first month I even produced an egg, so that was progress, but I still feel sad that the month didn't result in a pregnancy. 

I've cried my tears, and now I want to try to search for the blessing in this.  I know that God's timing is always perfect, and that He uses struggles to teach us new things.  So, this time, I want to learn, or choose, to count my blessings instead of just mourning my losses.